Guess who's back?

~ I have learned. Learned I need something to hold on to.
I have learned I need to live in the moment.
Not in the past that you cannot change, not in the future that might not be there.
Live in the moment and enjoy the journey,
wherever it is taking you... ~

For those of you that have missed me, I have not disappeared. I have been stuck though. Have you ever felt that you couldn’t move forward?
I have been dedicated for over a year to work towards my first bodyfitness competition. I trained like I never trained before, I ate clean, like never before. I was disciplined, dedicated, like never before. It worked, I built my body like it was never before.

When the day came of my moment of fame, I enjoyed it to the fullest! Had the best team to support me around, trainer, stylist, and friends for mental support. I felt like a real star! The day started early. I enjoyed my mashed sweet potatoes and a nice shower and traveled to the theater where I collected with all the other athletes, the one more beautiful than the other. I got ready in my bath rope for spray tanning and situated myself in a quiet corner; some relaxation with my earplugs in. Stress will do no good for your looks on stage, so I better relaxed! My hair done nails done, everything done! Then came the minutes I needed to prepare for stage. My trainer relaxed me, getting me ready with some exercises and final posing practices. Adrenaline!

First time on stage, I got called out for the first round! That sounds promising! I looked at the jury, smiled, and performed for the public. I did well! Next time on stage, bright shining lights aimed at me. I did my T-walk like I was born to do this. Calm, relaxed and fabulous. That went quick!

Then, I was just waiting for the results. I got called on stage first, 6^th place! Confusion arose in my mind; only the girls on the first 5 places will be accepted for the B class competition. Not me? But I was good enough to be there on the stage with the other winning girls! Feeling of pride, excitement and happiness! I did it! And I was satisfied with my performance on stage!

Feeling happy and tired after this long day, I thanked all my supporters and drove back home for a good night of sleep. Most girls craved for junk food the moment they get off the stage. All I wanted was just a good night of sleep. The first days after the competition, I went to the gym to do some workouts and eat relatively normal. Then, the cravings started and I took a break from training. I thought; well, let me give myself some rest and enjoy some sweets! Sugar is addictive, once we had some sugar, our bodies is craving for more. My body was not used to getting in food that high in sugar and in such large amounts. It reacted heavily and soaked up everything that I ate, resulting in a big, bloated me. This is really demotivating, especially since you have been in your best shape ever just a couple of weeks ago. I was ashamed that I gained wait this quickly and to go back to the gym to face myself in the mirrors there and was afraid for the reactions. That is where I got stuck. Stuck in the corner, for a little too long…

Getting out of this corner took time. Working towards a goal helps me. This is why I have been working on some goal setting for myself lately. It gets me motivated. 

There are a couple of challenges coming up! One if them is a photoshoot! Stay tuned for updates! 

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